Workplace Woes – Roze Knows®

Dear Roze:

I don’t care how common extramarital affairs may be in the workplace, they’ve never sat well with me. I don’t think it’s any of my business what my co-workers do in their personal lives behind closed doors, but when they flaunt it around the office, it has a way of making it everyone’s business. Besides questioning their judgment, I don’t feel comfortable when I’m working with them or just being around them.

I work with a man and woman who are hooking up, and I’ve met and hung out with the guy’s wife at quite a few of our company social functions. The woman is single and a lot younger than the guy, but she also knows the guy’s wife. They banter back and forth with a lot of flirting and sexual innuendo around the rest of us, which makes for a lot of office gossip.

I consider myself good friends with the guy, and I’m worried he could be destroying his marriage as well as his reputation and ultimately his career.

I really want to say something to him, but I’m not sure how to go about it. What do you think?

Wanting to address co-workers’ affair

Dear Wanting to address co-workers’ affair:

This is one of those sticky wickets. Whether or not you say something is a decision you have to make for yourself. Staying out of it is what most people do, but I understand why you want to say something.

You should ask yourself what would be a realistic outcome. I would venture to guess it will not stop the affair, but it might alter their open display of affection around you and others in the office. Keep in mind that it could also negatively affect your friendship with this guy.

If you choose to say something, you could couch it like this, “Hey, Tom, if I was you, I would want you to tell me. There’s a lot of gossip going around about your relationship with Mary. I thought you should know because I’m concerned it could negatively affect your career as well as your marriage.” Hopefully, your words would be taken in the spirit they were intended.

© 2017 Rozanne R. Worrell

Workplace Woes – Roze Knows®

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