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NORFOLK --CHKD parent educator Sam Fabian has tips on how parents can effectively discipline their children and keep the peace.

Tip 1: Discipline Means to Teach. We first need to realize we are our children's teachers.
It is our job to teach and model skills they need to make good decisions that involve sharing, putting toys away, talking, working out differences, etc.
Parents should think about who their favorite teacher was in school. Often they will describe them as patient, talks in a nice voice, builds you up, repeats directions and doesn't get upset with you.
Your child wants you to be their best teacher. When you are your child's best teacher learning will take place.

Tip 2: Respond to Your Child. Don't React
Respond versus react means that you will make the conscious effort to calm your strong emotions and think of what the best response will be to help discipline (teach) your child how to do the task differently.
Demonstrate and model how to use your regular voice instead of the whining voice, or give them the words to express their feelings or frustrations and tell them what they could have done instead of throwing the block across the room.
Before you can discipline or teach you have to be calm yourself. This is called the Green Zone, which leads us to our third tip.

Tip 3: Help Your Child into the Green Zone - Learning can only take place if you and your child are in a place of calmness or peace.
This is called the green zone. One way to help your child into the green zone is to reassure him that he is safe and that he can handle this.
Teach him to be a S.T.A.R. 'Smile,' 'Take A deep breath' and 'Relax.' When we teach children these calming techniques they can better respond to our teaching and do better the next time.
Remember, children need repetition in learning new skills. Modeling is so important so remember to use the STAR technique yourself and your children will follow.

Learn more at the CHKD and Kohl's Cares Family Forum with Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to stop yelling and starting connecting. It's Thursday, February 28, from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at Great Bridge Middle School, 441 South Battlefield Dr, Chesapeake.

You can register at the CHKD Website.

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