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Why other people's successes don't take away from your own

When something good happens in your life, what do you do? When you get exciting news about your job or about a relationship, do you tell the people important to you?  It's only human nature to want to share the positive experiences with others. We want their validation and their congratulations. We want them to be happy for us.  There's a social contract that we engage in when we share good news that compels others to express happiness for us, but is the response sincere?  And in turn, are...

When something good happens in your life, what do you do? When you get exciting news about your job or about a relationship, do you tell the people important to you?

It’s only human nature to want to share the positive experiences with others. We want their validation and their congratulations. We want them to be happy for us.

There’s a social contract that we engage in when we share good news that compels others to express happiness for us, but is the response sincere?

And in turn, are you sincere in your celebration of others’ accomplishments?

If you look at your responses to other people’s successes, you might realize that you haven’t been heartfelt in your reception of their good news. In fact, you may have resented them.

You might have read the warning to avoid the green eyed monster, but this goes beyond just jealousy. It’s about the internalized fear we sometimes carry that another’s success will take away from our own.

Though it is understandable to add up accomplishments and compare them to those around you, it will get you nowhere.

Their success does not undermine or negate your own. A friend or colleague can get a promotion or buy a new house but that doesn’t mean that the efforts that YOU take pride in did not happen and do not matter.

There is room for more than just you to succeed in life.

In fact, studies have shown that the more happy and successful people you surround yourself with, the more happiness and success you experience. So, others’ triumphs benefit you more than you think!

If you remember that, than not only will you be able to genuinely rejoice in the successes of the people in your life, but you will also inspire true good feelings from others on your behalf. When you celebrate joy, you share in joy and in that way we all succeed.

T.D. Jakes is a charismatic leader, visionary, provocative thinking, entrepreneur and compassion humanitarian with a voice that has reverberated from the world's most prominent stages. His look at life comes from the perspective of a father, a student, a pastor and a friend. His daytime talk show will be premiering this fall across the nation. Follow @tdjakesshow on Twitter!

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