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'People are scared' | Mental health specialist offers ways to cope after so much violence in Hampton Roads

13News Now has been following the gun violence all over Hampton Roads this year. So, how do we cope as a community as we continue to see this violence unfold?

NORFOLK, Va. — 13News Now has been following the gun violence all over Hampton Roads this year.

We had a very violent summer, with that trend appearing to keep going into the winter months.

Just this weekend, Portsmouth police investigated another homicide, as did Norfolk police.

RELATED: 757 Gun Violence: Chiefs on the Crisis

So, how do we cope as a community as we continue to see this violence unfold?

"People are scared. People are scared to be shot at, people are scared to shoot people, people are scared all the way around," said mental health specialist Shardé O'Rourke.

She's no stranger to gun violence herself.

"I am from Los Angeles, California. I have been shot at before. I have heard of people getting shot, I have friends that have gotten shot. It’s not a new phenomenon to me at all."

She says experiencing that trauma can manifest itself in different ways

"Every person is different and when they come to the realization of all of that, it’s just different," she said. "I didn’t even think about being shot at that it was a big thing… that happened in high school… until college. But I recognize that every time I go somewhere, I stand by an exit, or I make sure I can always see an exit."

She says even children experience and cope with trauma differently.

RELATED: Hampton Roads residents seeking more mental health services

"You see a lot more kids with anxiety. That all of this fear and trauma are funneling into these compartments, however, the compartments overflow," said O'Rourke. "You see a lot more kids that are depressed, you see a lot more kids that are socially withdrawing, hurting themselves or cutting. A lot of times it processes into 'how can I relieve this in the easiest way possible.'"

If you’re someone who is watching the violence play out on TV or on social media, she says the first thing you can do is put down the phone and take a step back if you can.

"We have to be responsible for taking care of ourselves and we do that by going to therapy, we do that by talking to our friends, our parents about things, our significant others, talking to our kids about being safe."

As for people who are living this trauma in their neighborhoods, she says number one, go to therapy if you can.

Number two, check in on your neighbors

"The one thing I would recommend is taking a break, going outside of home sometimes. Maybe going to a place that you feel safe. Go do yoga, go incorporate some exercise into your regimen. Finding some great music that helps you relieve stress," she said.

She says we can’t heal alone and we shouldn’t have to.

"We have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and people not being okay. If people are struggling, don't try to fix it. You can't fix it. Just listen and support them."

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