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Norfolk program teaches boys lessons in healthy masculinity to help end cycle of domestic violence

Right now, Amend Together, a YWCA gender-based intervention program, is only housed at Southside Stem Academy in Norfolk, and its looking to expand.

NORFOLK, Va. — Domestic violence is a problem in Hampton Roads. 

There’s a new initiative in Norfolk working to end the cycle of abuse by reaching young boys.

It’s called "Amend Together," and the program brings positive male role models into schools to teach students to be part of the solution.

The intervention program targets boys ages 7 to 18 years old. 

“They have preconceived notions of manhood. So, we try to help them with that, which also is directly related to decreasing violence against girls and women," said Ray Catlett, the program's facilitator at Southside Stem Academy.

Currently, the program is only housed at Southside Stem Academy, where eighth graders Thaddeus Kelley and Devon Copeland meet with male mentors during lunch period. 

“It’s mostly how we respect others, and how we get from one thing to another," said Kelley. “The main thing I’ve learned is respecting women, basically." 

“There’s so many parts of manhood. So many parts of manhood," said Copeland about what he's learned in the program. 

The YWCA of South Hampton Roads launched the initiative this school year.

The goal behind these sessions is to stop the cycle of violence against women and girls by teaching these boys lessons in healthy masculinity. 

Topics range from dating to conflict resolution. They talk about dealing with emotions and respecting others.

“How do you respect your mom? How do you respect other females in school or society in general? Especially with women in the households," said school counselor and program coordinator Dr. Antonio Neal.

“If they see negative energy in the household, especially if they see a dominant male who is not really knowledgeable about real manhood, and that is ingrained in their minds, then at some point they can also carry that mindset into their relationships," said Catlett. 

The YWCA of South Hampton Roads serves families impacted by domestic violence. YWCA CEO Dr. Michelle Ellis Young said calls for help have spiked in recent years.

“We know that the statistics of violence against women are startling,” she said. 

In Virginia, one in three women and one in four men experience physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. 

Young said more than 15 million children nationwide are exposed to some type of domestic violence in their homes.

She believes these conversations are necessary to shift the culture of violence among the next generation. 

“If we could be on this side of the work, helping to store their thinking, helping to store their emotions and their feelings, then maybe we won’t see so many of our women victimized," she said. "We cannot stop the violence against women without engaging boys and men. " 

Oftentimes, Young said, people repeat what they’ve seen at home. So, the program makes sure to teach good practices. They hope that not only will young boys emulate what they learned, but that they will also advocate and hold other men accountable when the day comes.

The City of Norfolk recently approved a grant to expand the program to area schools and organizations. 

According to Young, YWCA is looking to bring the program to a local university, also. 

Copeland and Kelley said it’s changed the way they think. 

“This group sets up on a good path to actually understanding the world because the world is a crazy place," said Copeland. 

“Having positive role models come in that can help them to see another side of life, another side of manhood where they can see that you don’t have to be violent. You don’t have to be dominant to be a man," said Catlett. 

Catlett said he knows many men in his community did not have these conversations as boys, and he's thankful to pass them along with the next generation. 

He and other program organizers hope more men in the community get involved to help the young boys break the stereotypical models of them. Some of the boys do not have a male influence in the house.

The Amend Together program is looking for more male volunteers. Anyone interested in joining the program should reach the YWCA of South Hampton Roads.

 

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